R.I.P - Corey Haim

Corey Haim Found Dead
Posted Mar 10th 2010 8:08AM by TMZ Staff
Actor Corey Haim died this morning of an apparent overdose -- possibly accidental -- according to LAPD. He was 38.


Does this really come as a surprise to anyone? What I don't like is the whole "possibly accidental" part of it. When you're shooting up enough smack to take down an elephant, you probably don't stand much of a chance. There was nothing accidental about this. Whoops, I didn't mean to die? You're shooting up heroin! Dying kind of goes hand-in-hand with heroin doesn't it?

UPDATE: Apparently, heroin is not the drug of choice, but rather Mr. Haim had a affinity for pill popping. Maybe it was O.C.'s, also known as...Hillbilly Heroin, so maybe I wasn't wrong with my assumption? In any case, whatever he was consuming, he's still dead deadski.

On an side note, I bet Corey Feldman is dancing in the streets right now. Sure, he'll probably release a statement regarding this "tragic event", but I know it's all ballyhoo. Feldman has been tied to this wastoid for what, 25 years or so? They even made a reality series about "The Two Corey's". Yup, I can almost hear Feldman popping the champagne.


On a brighter note, and for some reason this certainly makes me feel old, Happy 70th Birthday to our good old friend Chuck. Chuck who?????? You may need a roundhouse boot to the temple if you don't know who Chuck is!

Honesty...Honestly???

I think I have a problem being honest...I think I get a bit embarrassed by being honest. I'm so anxious about being rejected in some way that I'd rather keep things inside or lie about something. Part of it stems from my inability to feel completely comfortable with people. It's weird thinking about how I'll probably live my entire life without anyone truly knowing exactly who I am. For the most part, they'll only know what I want to them to know...but they'll never know that they only know a small percentage of who I am or what I believe...you know? Don't get me wrong, I think I'm the bees knees, a great all-around guy, good friend, loving husband, caring father, haven't secretly murdered anyone, but I do keep A LOT close to the vest.

The reason why I bring all this up and throw myself under the bus is that I feel somewhat guilty. We're trying to enroll The G into the South Shore Charter School. Part of the enrollment process is for a parent to write a letter stating why you child should be enrolled, how your child learns and what you (the parent) are going to do to contribute. I wasn't going to write the letter, basically nixing G's chance to enroll. I was embarrassed to honestly write about my daughter. I didn't want others to know how I felt about her, her education and our relationship. Once I reflected a bit on the potential consequences of me being an introverted knucklehead, I wrote a bare-bones honest letter. I was NOT going to write a "Rah, rah...my kid is the best kid in the world" type solicitation. The letter was due today. The Mrs already dropped it off. I reread it this morning and I glad I was able open up. I thought maybe some of my loyal readers might want to see what I wrote:

Dear South Shore Charter Public School, February 8, 2010

Initially, I was reluctant to write this letter. Maybe it’s because I’m out of practice…I used to write all the time. It seemed much easier for my wife, Aimee, to pass her thoughts along (she can be much more eloquent than I). Then, as I was looking over the S.S.C.P.S’s website I found some inspiration. This is an introduction to myself, my family and our daughter Guinevere.

I decided to reflect on my own scholastic…adventure. I use the term “adventure” because it was more about the uncertainty of each day, rather than the education. Being in a relatively large school population, I found it very easy to get lost and overlooked. Throughout each grade level, it wasn’t difficult to figure out each teacher’s expectations. I was never pushed and got by just fine using minimal efforts. In retrospect, I learned that I didn’t learn a thing and I wasn’t a better person than I started out. Fortunately for me, I was able to get to this point in my life relatively unscathed. I’ve always wondered how much better of a person I would be if I were motivated to learn earlier in life. My biggest fear has been that Guinevere stumbles into the same pitfalls I found myself in. I want “Gwen” to realize that through education, motivation and creativity she can open up opportunities to do anything in life.

It has always been our obligation to be as proactive as possible with Gwen’s education. The 2 years that Gwen has spent at the Braintree Integrated Preschool have been crucial to her educational and social development. Aimee and I have been able to watch Gwen go from a developmental “late-bloomer” to an extremely social, intelligent and gifted little girl. It would be easy to allow Gwen to go to Braintree’s public elementary school (which just so happens to be across the street), but what type of environment are we leaving her in? It would be a sin to think that our job as proactive parents are done. We have witnessed Gwen’s achievements within a creative and interactive learning system. We believe that the S.S.C.P.S.’s philosophy and dedication to student’s development reflects the type of values we want to see instilled in Gwen. Through the S.S.C.P.S, Gwen will not be overlooked, but rather she will feel part of a greater educational community. Gwen thrives when she feels that she is contributing.

We also want Gwen to know that learning goes beyond what is written in educational texts. Living a positive life, being a positive role model, enriching lives and the community around us all are values we want Gwen to learn. As parents, we do our best to teach our children these values, but why can’t they also be cultivated in school? We believe S.S.C.P.S believes in these values and will assist in Gwen’s development as a positive human being; not just a student.

Gwen enjoys a smaller class population. It’s easy for her to get lost without attention or a task to complete. She does her best work when she feels part of the process. Gwen can definitely work independently, but her attention fades within a short period of time. She can be somewhat of a perfectionist, but we would like Gwen to continue to learn that mistakes can be okay; mistakes are educational and part of life. Gwen has showed great talent with art and imagination (which I credit my wife), so she tends to gravitate towards that exclusively. We would like Gwen’s education to diversify so that includes mathematics, language and interpersonal communication. Gwen needs to work and learn with more confidence; that she has the talent and ability to discover achievement even in the face of failure.

Aimee and I intend on continuing to be Gwen’s greatest advocate. We are interested in taking part in and contributing to all S.S.C.P.S. activities. In the past 2 years, we have volunteered and participated in numerous activities run through Gwen’s preschool program. We have raised money through fundraising, are members in the P.T.O. and I’ve even dressed as Spiderman for her school’s Halloween celebration (I have the pictures to prove it). I can not stress enough how important it is to be proactive in Gwen’s development.

Hopefully this has given you a vivid snapshot into our daughter Gwen and why her education is so important to us. We appreciate your consideration for Gwen’s enrollment into the S.S.C.P.S..

Sincerely,
Yours Truly

Keyboard Cat Can't Even Save This Doofus

Happy Hump Day!

R.I.P. - Howard Zinn

I had the pleasure of spending some time with Mr. Zinn and his family. Through this interaction, I was also able to take part in the filming of "The People Speak". When people ask me why I don't vote, I usually answer "It's my right NOT to vote", but that's only part of it. The Howard Zinn in me believes that I have no faith in the candidates being voted on. These candidates don't believe in me and my family, so why should I believe in them?

Mr. Zinn rubbed folks the wrong way, because their ignorance would not allow them to hear simple truths. Mr. Zinn believed that there is more to being an American than the color of your skin or how high your paycheck is. Mr. Zinn taught me that "freedom" is a word that many do not understand. Mr. Zinn lived free, believe in freedom and taught that life should not be governed by those with power...power corrupts.

My sincere hope is that Mr. Zinn is in a better place than he left. An icon, a visionary has passed, but hopefully his memory and message will never fade.

Shoo, Shoo Retarded Flu

The first time I got the flu, I was a Junior in college. I was dating this chick who got the flu, and like any invincible 20-year-old, I went to her place daily to help get her through it. Wouldn't you know that the flu can be contagious? For the next week I was quarantined to the couch in my apartment, living on NyQuil...I thought I was dying!

It's obvious that I survived and over the next few years I got the flu pretty consistently. Finally, one day I was introduced to the flu shot which was being administered free by my employer at the time. Not being a fan of needles, but being even a lesser of a fan of the flu, I signed up and didn't get the flu that year. Every year since I've gotten a flu shot and every year since I've been flu-free...until this year.

Today is Monday and I'm back to work. I'm certainly not operating at 100%, but I'm far better than the bedridden shell of a man that existed less than 48 hours ago. Despite receiving a flu-shot a few months ago and despite my best efforts to stay healthy, I STILL got the flu. I got the flu, I was quarantined to my bedroom, living on NyQuil and thinking that this was the end for Yours Truly. Coincidentally, the kiddos were dealing with matching ear infections and wicked coughs, so The Mrs had her hands full. As you can imagine, when it comes to the family priority list in the face of a household pandemic, Yours Truly comes in 4th (after Fat Cat). I was on my own armed only with flu medication, Gatorade, chicken noodle soup and a T.V. clicker. All bathroom visits had to be previously scheduled to avoid cross contamination. Throughout the day, I uncomfortably watched movies, utilizing our promotional free HBO/Cinemax offer. At night I went in and out of NyQuil consciousness, where even when I was asleep, I still thought I was awake.

Thankfully, the worst is over...for this year anyways. As I laid in bed throughout the weekend, I got very discouraged over the whole flu shot thing. I mean, I got the damn shot, so I should have gone flu-free. Now that I've had time to reflect, here's what I've come up with.

1) This is the first time in the last 9 years that I've gotten the flu - Pretty good ratio!
2) The Mrs claims it's a man-thing, but I certainly fear the Reaper - Need more cowbell!
3) Eventually, my ass is being shipped to an old-folks home - Start taking Waltz lessons!
4) Campbell's chicken noodle soup is the BOMB - But I couldn't stomach another bowl!
5) "In Bruges" and "Slumdog Millionaire" are awesome - Go rent them immediately!

What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger to blog another day!

Magic Beans!!!

So back in the East Junior High days, elementary school 6th graders were brought together and were introduced into a quasi-almost-ready-for-high-school-education. Unlike our Elementary Sch00ls, we were introduced to "Home rooms" and "Electives". After K-6 type politics, we're introduced to new political factions. Thankfully, this type of integration was a pretty easy adjustment. Sure, we were suddenly introduced to new "townie" kids, but for the most part, they weren't unlike those we already knew. Thus began the story of Bates and Bean...

Immediately, it was easy to see the artistic talent Ms. Bean possessed. Yours Truly was fortunately enough to observe from desk-side doodles to artistic genius. Yours Truly also yearned for "talent" back in those junior high years. I tried music (saxophone) and did alright. I tried art and did alright (compulsive doodler). I found my niche in athletics and gravitated to whatever physical exercise was in the highlight.

Through this period of Junior High life, without getting caught up in the Z-Cavvericci era, I found myself looking into familiar artists. Initially, I was a complete and envious Texiera fan, but I always secretly appreciated work done by Ms. Bean.

Years have gone by...15 years since I've graduated Weymouth High, Class of 1994. You know what it funny??? I am still envious of artistic talent, I married artistic talent, I've been paid for my own artistic talent...and I haven't forgot those who I've been privileged to witness of the years.

So, if you're like Yours Truly and appreciate witty, some-what nostalgic art, you would be well-suited to waste time on this site: http://beandoodling.blogspot.com/.

It's funny because the moment I knew Cara, I knew someone who I would always appreciate crossing paths with. There are those who were put on this Earth to enrich the lives around us...Ms Bean is one of those people!

Happy New Year!!!

Unfortunate Movie Remake

Pat Morita is rolling over in his grave, but without further ado...

I wonder what Billy Zabka thinks about this, hmmm...

AHHHHHH SHIT!!!

Christmas Mishap - Who's At Fault?

One of my favorite parts of Christmas is actually going to pick out the tree. I've been going to the same place on Route 18 for the past 8 years and every year I seem to pick a spectacular tree. Now I have no idea what type of tree it is - Balsam Fir, Scottish Pine, etc...it doesn't matter. Just like a Jedi, I reach out with my feelings and BAM the tree presents itself. I also enjoy the haggling aspect of the whole experience. I know you put those color-coded ribbons on the trees, but I don't see numbers written on them. You say the "blues" are $40, I think they look more like $30...we settle on $35 and the kid gets a $5 tip (provided he gives it a fresh cut and straps it to the roof). Win-Win.

Everything that happens once that tree is strapped to the roof of the car is a complete pain in the tookus. You have to cut the twine off, get sap all over your hands, get the damn thing through the door, putting the tree in the stand and standing back every 2 seconds to make sure it's straight...it's all a nightmare. Saying that, I can complete understand the aggravation from this guy when he comes home and finds himself on candid camera. Instead of hoping for a "Funniest Home Videos" moment, why don't you clear the area a little, go get the tree-stand out of the basement, MAYBE move your precious vase so it doesn't get demolished???

What I don't get though it that the dude totally goes from all, "Get out da way bitch" to "I'm sorry...I didn't know...please don't beat me!" If that's how you're going to react in this situation, you might as well take off that Superbowl Champion Patriots jacket and put on a pink Red Sox hat. Man up and say what's really on your mind, "That vase was a piece of shit and I did the living-room a favor!" You can also totally tell by this woman's reaction that this is not the first time she's called her husband an "idiot", nor do I think it will be the last. Honestly, what's worse than your wife calling you an "idiot", and actually meaning it? So who's at fault? I'd say they both are - the wife for being a bipolar, fire hazard and the husband for forgetting his nuts at the alter when he married this broad.

All I Want For Christmas...

This morning I woke up and felt good. Really good! I know it's Monday, back to work, 5 days until the weekend...but it's also another day closer to Christmas. In years past, the kid in me has always had his heart set upon something. Some gadget, game or other novelty, and like all novelties they usually wore off. The PSP system was great! I could play on the train, at home, on the crapper, but eventually (like a month or two later) it was just boring. This year, without fail, brought the usual questions of what does Yours Truly WANT for Christmas? As far as I'm concerned, all that I want...I already have. In fact, Santa has already visited my house and here's the proof:
Could I sit here and provide a laundry list of do-dads that may or may not come in handy? Sure, but do I really NEED them? I can tell you that all that I NEED is with me all day, every day. In 11 days all that is going to matter is the excitement on my kids faces. I'm even looking forward to seeing The Mrs when she discovers that "Santa" hasn't forgotten her. WE decided not to buy each other gifts, but "Santa" never signed off on any cease-and-desist. Without opening one gift, I'll already have one of the greatest presents of all.

The other "gift" I've received early (don't be jealous...it's just I've been a better boy this year) is something I've looked forward to do for a long time. Ultimately my fascination comes from Best-Man speeches. I've been witness to a good handful, and I always felt that I could come up with a real kickass one. I suppose I've always just appreciated those choosen to be ushers, bridesmaids; members of the "wedding party". What greater honor to bestow upon a chum, right? There was a time when I had to choose 5 friends...FIVE...to help represent me at my wedding. In retrospect, I know that I chose wisely although it's easy to see how someone's circle of friends can change over 7 years...thankfully mine has only changed in addition rather than subtraction. I've been asked to be part of not one, but TWO weddings in 2010! Both grooms-to-be are currently card-carrying members of the Superfriends and their "better halves" are as well.

So lets see...I've got an awesome family, I've got awesome friends, I've got my health (finally), my jobs (notice the plural), and a partidge in a pear tree (we call him Birdie the bird). Currently, all things are coming up Millhouse and when you think about it, what more could you actually ask for? Merry Christmas and if you're feeling a little Bah Humbug, just remember these wise words from good-ole Clark Griswold:

I'm Back...From Outta Space!

I know, I know Mr. Nits, it has been far too long (20 days to be exact), but now I'm back in business. In my blogging absence, I've been working diligently on my latest and possibly greatest endeavour - my 15 year high school reunion. What? You didn't know I was a class officer? I wasn't...I couldn't even get a date to the prom! So how does yours truly go from just another face in the high school crowd to savior of the Thanksgiving reunion tradition? Easy...two kids lights a fire under your ass to seize ANY opportunity for a night out.

Despite my infinite confidence, planning an event of such magnitude felt a little much to take on solo. Thankfully, my partner Mr. Gill was more than willing and able to lend a hand. Together we forged a union I passionately refer to as...

That's actually not true...but it should be. So together Mr. Gill and I started the process of reaching out to as many Class of 1994 folk as possible. What better outlet than Facebook, right? The plan was foolproof until I realized that Facebook has some crazy anti-creepy-stalker-person security that basically put my account on lock down. The other stumbling block were the peeps who kept rejecting my "friend requests". Come on...we graduated together and even though we never spoke a syllable in high school, we're practically 4th cousins-twice removed.


Next on the agenda was the location. Since my crib's capacity is only about 7, we needed to find a larger venue. Enter Hajjar's which, unbeknownst to me, has a secret function hall that hold 250 people. How this fact eluded me for the past 12 years since I've been frequenting this establishment will forever be a mystery. Next, we needed some entertainment...besides the expected antics of some reunion attendees. Lucky for us, my favorite tattoo artist also moonlights as a DJ. The easier this reunion became to plan, the more confident Mr. Gill and I got. Why don't we call in some favors and get some prizes to raffle away? Boom...we got hooked up from Bruins tickets to Tennessee BBQ gift certificates (obviously!). How are we going to document all the shenanigans? Wham...Group Photo Booth (courtesy of my bro-in-law) that's how!


So in the span of about 20 days or so, we've created an event which will probably go down as the highlight of 2009. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if some celebrities tried to get past the velvet rope. So here we go, the reunion is three days from now and everything is on cruise control. Alls I's gots to do is bring it on Friday, and with my hot wife in tow that shouldn't be a problem. My only worry is alcohol-induced hooliganism and unfortunately The Mrs refuses to be Head of Security...a title I honestly thought she would embrace. So, my faith will reside in the Spirit of High School Reunions and everyone will have a wonderful time, drive home safe and dream about one of the best nights of their entire lives. Hey, THIS guy can dream, can't he???



DISCLAIMER:

Jim Nantz Has To Pay How Much???

CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz must pay $916,000 yearly in alimony and child support to his ex-wife and give up their Connecticut home under terms of a newly issued divorce decree. The ruling dissolves the 26-year marriage of Nantz and Ann-Lorraine “Lorrie’’ Carlsen Nantz. It comes after both testified about the breakdown of their marriage; Judge Howard Owens concluded neither was at fault. Although Nantz, 50, acknowledged he started dating a 29-year-old woman before the divorce was final, the judge concluded the marriage deteriorated years earlier and “this remote event in no way contributed to the breakdown of the marriage.’’ Under the ruling, Nantz must pay $72,000 in alimony monthly until he dies or his ex-wife remarries, and another $1,000 weekly in child support for the next two years. (Boston Globe)

So, let me get this straight...as long as "Lorrie" doesn't remarry or Nantz croaks, this chick is get $72,000 per month...for nothing, nada, sit-on-her-ass-zilch? She get paid more per month then I do per year...working two jobs! Don't give me the 26-years has got to be worth something argument either. I'm sure despite any marriage woes, she was living a pretty comfy lifestyle. You know damn straight she's not getting remarried either. That's like being a CEO for a Fortune 500 company only to quit to work at Friendly's because they have a better benefit package.

Man, if this isn't a lesson to all the rich celebrities out there. Either stay a swinging bachelor or make sure that pre-nup is concrete. Also Judge Owens has to stop bullshitting when he concluded neither were at fault. You make a dude shell out almost a mil per year to his ex...4-LIFE...that pretty much screams, "You Effed Up, Bro!"

Has Halloween Gone Too Far?

CLICK ON IMAGE ABOVE TO ENLARGE & READ

Now this is certainly bold. You can't say Halloween doesn't bring out the creativity in people...sick, but still creative. Well, this certainly goes to prove my point to The Mrs. that Halloween (to adults) is more than girls in slutty costumes. I mean, never would I have thought to reach out to the amputee community for a volunteer, to strap to my back as C-3PO, while I wore a Wookie costume. SURE, I thought of putting a helmet and shades on Junior, strapping him to my back and braking out the Gun Show as Master Blaster from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, but exploiting amputees might be going a tad too far.

What Is Wrong With Some Parents?

I've never claimed to be the perfect parent. Sure, I own and wear a t-shirt that states I'm the World's Best Dad, but that was back in 2006. Being a parent is the hardest, maddening and most rewarding job I've ever held. In 4 1/2 years, I hit the highs and lows when I comes to parenting. I've actually felt like the best dad ever and I've felt like a complete failure. I've openly threatened to ship my kids off to China and there are times when I couldn't be more proud of their accomplishments...no matter how small.

I've learned that there will be no greater teacher in my children's live than The Mrs. and I. That being said, I take it personally when The G, for example, shoves a pencil eraser way up her nose. It's my responsibility to train the kids how not to get themselves killed...seriously! Personally, I can't remember how invincible I probably thought I was at 4, but the fact of the matter is toddler muscle isn't immune to oncoming traffic.

All that said, I feel bad for a lot of children I read about in newspapers and unfortunately sometimes witness first-hand. I used to think to be a good parent, you should allow plenty of space to create individuality. Now, I think the biggest mistake we can make is by ignoring the unknown. First off, kids are sponges and they're sucking it all in. Second, the world is full of creeps. Lastly, shit happens. I'm not saying that I'm going to be up my kid's asses 24/7, but you can be damn sure The Mrs. and I will (to the best of our ability) be lurking, listening, inquiring, assisting and watching the safety and well-being our greatest gifts. We're going to make mistakes, but the point is minimizing the mistakes, learning from them and teaching how not repeat history. The G and Junior are our legacy and I certainly don't want them to someday muff up the same way we did.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents don't get that. Then you get videos like above. Where the hell do kids learn those moves? They were busting out stuff I'd be too scared to suggest to The Mrs. we replicate for there's a good chance I'd get a knuckle sandwich! Do you think ANY of these kids have ANY shot to grow up normally. Instead of worrying so much about swine flu or global warming, why not campaign to teach parents not to be so retarded? Maybe by not teaching our 7 year-olds that smacking that ass in an all out simulated gang-bang, some of our children can go onto discovering cures for cancer or reducing carbon emissions. I don't know...it's easy to watch this and say, "I'm not doing that bad of a job", but I also wonder which one of these delinquents are going to be the one to grow up and hurt one my kids, because they weren't taught right.

End Rant.

R.I.P. - Captain Lou Albano

If you were a red-blooded American boy growing up in the 80's, you were probably a fan of the WWF. As far as wrestling personalities go, Captain Lou was up there with the zaniest. The guy wore elastics all over his face and went on incredible rants that usually made Mean Gene scratch his bald melon. Aside from the WWF, Captain Lou could be found in movies, music videos and other mainstream media outlets, but who could forget Captain Lou's riviting portrayal as...

Largest Dead Snake Ever Found!

That's a BIG snake!

Who The Heck Is That???

I guarantee you know who this is, but you just don't think you do. It's okay, I didn't know who he was a first either and neither will you. What I can tell you is that he's the director of some new movie out called "Couples Retreat", but that's not how you know him. You know him SO well that I'm willing to bet that you see him every year...sometimes a couple times per year. Ready to find out who he is? Scroll down and have a look-see...











Keep Going

Holy crap, it's Ralphie from "A Christmas Story". Well what do you know? Apparently, he's Vince Vaughn's best friend since they were kids. I would have thought this dude would have milked all the Christmas Story royalties til he croaked. Ted Turner must be paying this kid millions since every Christmas this movie is all over his stations...some working 24/7! I guess he just got bored. Since we're talking about "A Christmas Story" and without being TOO politically incorrect, I've also included probably my favorite scene from this holiday classic...Enjoy!

Stupid Sexy Flanders!

Thankfully this week went by really fast and we're on the cusp of the weekend! Wait, I have to work tomorrow in the Fish Bowl and then after I have to work all night at Tennessee's...DAMN IT!!!

Tonight we have the baptism rehearsal for Junior. I don't really understand why we need to rehearse. Dunk the melon, couple "Our Fathers", and then crack some brews at the after-party. That reminds me, I have to figure out what I'm feeding people. I don't even know how many mouths I'm feeding. I could have swore there were RSVP-thingys on the invites. Maybe I'll just order pizza. No sense slaving over a culinary masterpiece if the only people there are my parents and the Superfriends; I mean they're not picky. Then again, I haven't put on a spread in a while...hmmmmm...

This is how effing bored I am! I'm mulling recipe options, work motivation is at -78, minding is wandering erratically...I'm in full blown ADHD mode! Well screw it because it's still Friday, and it's not ANY Friday...

VAN DAMME FRIDAY!!!

You can't believe your eyes, but it's really VAN DAMME FRIDAY!

Don't be afraid to cut a little rug, because it's VAN DAMME FRIDAY!

Not excited about VAN DAMME FRIDAY? Well, the muscles from Brussels has a little something for YOU!

I KNEW This Was Going To Happen

Bianca de la Garza and David Wade broadcast their split

News couple Bianca de la Garza and David Wade are calling it quits. The local morning anchors, who have been married for 12 years and work for competing stations - she’s with WCVB-TV (Channel 5), he’s with WBZ-TV (Channel 4) - confirmed the split yesterday through manager Mendes Napoli.

I used to watch these two interact with each other when they were both anchors on FOX 25 News. Wade was the hotshot co-anchor, while Bianca was the roving reporter. I could never figure out how these two were a couple. Hot chicks don't swoon over David Wade, but I think I've figured it out. As the story goes, both split from Fox and are now anchors on competing news shows. Some would theorize that this type of rivalry would easily tear a couple apart. There is another factor here that everyone is forgetting...The Maria Stephanos Factor!

Maria Stephanos was the OTHER co-anchor of Fox 25 News when both Wade and Bianca were with the station. For years I watched Maria and Wade canoodle with each other, which must have driven Bianca bananas with lust. Jealousy is like an aphrodisiac to chicks. Now Wade is co-anchors with Jack Williams and the marriage goes into the crapper. Coincidence? I don't think so...and don't give me any "Well, there's also Paula Ebben" backtalk. She tries the old too-much-makeup-cougar look, but she can't hold a candle to Maria Stephanos.

According to the report, a source says this wasn't Wade's idea and that he's all broken up...well DUH! Take it from a guy who married up, if The Mrs. ever calls it quits on me, your damn right I'm going to be sad. How would I ever find another girl who could put up with my shinanegans??? Not happening!

What Is More Scary???

Ms. Piggy and Kermit the Frog

OR...

Lady Gaga and Kermit the Frog!?!?

So Lady Gaga's date to the Video Music Awards (VMA's) was Kermit the Frog. Let me allow you to digest that for a second...Kermit...The...Frog. I'll tell you one thing, Ms. Piggy must be pissed! I saw Kermit and Piggy get married on "The Muppets Take Manhattan", and now here's Kermit, out and about with Lady Gaga? How did TMZ not catch wind of this? Kermit and Piggy must have been having some marital issues to lead to this; maybe some domestic disputes? Well, I for one think this is a bigger travesty then Jon and Kate Gosselin, and I demand that Kermit take responsibility for his actions...the two-timing toad!

UPDATE: Apparently, Kermit the Frog is denying any wrong-doing to People.com (link included). He claims he was merely giving Lady Gaga a ride. Well my friends, Da Nile is not just a river in Egypt.

Brutal Knockout Leads To Scary Face & Weird Dance

Fighter Knocked Out With Epic Face - Watch more Funny Videos

Holy crap! If "Smokey" were in the room, he would have said, "You got knocked the fuck out!" And this, my friends, is why Yours Truly is no longer a Muay Thai Boxer. Not only was the dude out on his feet after the skull-crushing punch, but he also got a nice boot to the chops to send him straight into Exorcist-face.

Damn that is scary!!! It's too bad that he wasn't clobbered again, because he would have shot right past Exorcist-face and into Hulkster mode...you know what happens then!