Monday, January 25, 2010

Shoo, Shoo Retarded Flu

The first time I got the flu, I was a Junior in college. I was dating this chick who got the flu, and like any invincible 20-year-old, I went to her place daily to help get her through it. Wouldn't you know that the flu can be contagious? For the next week I was quarantined to the couch in my apartment, living on NyQuil...I thought I was dying!

It's obvious that I survived and over the next few years I got the flu pretty consistently. Finally, one day I was introduced to the flu shot which was being administered free by my employer at the time. Not being a fan of needles, but being even a lesser of a fan of the flu, I signed up and didn't get the flu that year. Every year since I've gotten a flu shot and every year since I've been flu-free...until this year.

Today is Monday and I'm back to work. I'm certainly not operating at 100%, but I'm far better than the bedridden shell of a man that existed less than 48 hours ago. Despite receiving a flu-shot a few months ago and despite my best efforts to stay healthy, I STILL got the flu. I got the flu, I was quarantined to my bedroom, living on NyQuil and thinking that this was the end for Yours Truly. Coincidentally, the kiddos were dealing with matching ear infections and wicked coughs, so The Mrs had her hands full. As you can imagine, when it comes to the family priority list in the face of a household pandemic, Yours Truly comes in 4th (after Fat Cat). I was on my own armed only with flu medication, Gatorade, chicken noodle soup and a T.V. clicker. All bathroom visits had to be previously scheduled to avoid cross contamination. Throughout the day, I uncomfortably watched movies, utilizing our promotional free HBO/Cinemax offer. At night I went in and out of NyQuil consciousness, where even when I was asleep, I still thought I was awake.

Thankfully, the worst is over...for this year anyways. As I laid in bed throughout the weekend, I got very discouraged over the whole flu shot thing. I mean, I got the damn shot, so I should have gone flu-free. Now that I've had time to reflect, here's what I've come up with.

1) This is the first time in the last 9 years that I've gotten the flu - Pretty good ratio!
2) The Mrs claims it's a man-thing, but I certainly fear the Reaper - Need more cowbell!
3) Eventually, my ass is being shipped to an old-folks home - Start taking Waltz lessons!
4) Campbell's chicken noodle soup is the BOMB - But I couldn't stomach another bowl!
5) "In Bruges" and "Slumdog Millionaire" are awesome - Go rent them immediately!

What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger to blog another day!

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