Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm Back...From Outta Space!

I know, I know Mr. Nits, it has been far too long (20 days to be exact), but now I'm back in business. In my blogging absence, I've been working diligently on my latest and possibly greatest endeavour - my 15 year high school reunion. What? You didn't know I was a class officer? I wasn't...I couldn't even get a date to the prom! So how does yours truly go from just another face in the high school crowd to savior of the Thanksgiving reunion tradition? Easy...two kids lights a fire under your ass to seize ANY opportunity for a night out.

Despite my infinite confidence, planning an event of such magnitude felt a little much to take on solo. Thankfully, my partner Mr. Gill was more than willing and able to lend a hand. Together we forged a union I passionately refer to as...

That's actually not true...but it should be. So together Mr. Gill and I started the process of reaching out to as many Class of 1994 folk as possible. What better outlet than Facebook, right? The plan was foolproof until I realized that Facebook has some crazy anti-creepy-stalker-person security that basically put my account on lock down. The other stumbling block were the peeps who kept rejecting my "friend requests". Come on...we graduated together and even though we never spoke a syllable in high school, we're practically 4th cousins-twice removed.


Next on the agenda was the location. Since my crib's capacity is only about 7, we needed to find a larger venue. Enter Hajjar's which, unbeknownst to me, has a secret function hall that hold 250 people. How this fact eluded me for the past 12 years since I've been frequenting this establishment will forever be a mystery. Next, we needed some entertainment...besides the expected antics of some reunion attendees. Lucky for us, my favorite tattoo artist also moonlights as a DJ. The easier this reunion became to plan, the more confident Mr. Gill and I got. Why don't we call in some favors and get some prizes to raffle away? Boom...we got hooked up from Bruins tickets to Tennessee BBQ gift certificates (obviously!). How are we going to document all the shenanigans? Wham...Group Photo Booth (courtesy of my bro-in-law) that's how!


So in the span of about 20 days or so, we've created an event which will probably go down as the highlight of 2009. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if some celebrities tried to get past the velvet rope. So here we go, the reunion is three days from now and everything is on cruise control. Alls I's gots to do is bring it on Friday, and with my hot wife in tow that shouldn't be a problem. My only worry is alcohol-induced hooliganism and unfortunately The Mrs refuses to be Head of Security...a title I honestly thought she would embrace. So, my faith will reside in the Spirit of High School Reunions and everyone will have a wonderful time, drive home safe and dream about one of the best nights of their entire lives. Hey, THIS guy can dream, can't he???



DISCLAIMER:

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Jim Nantz Has To Pay How Much???

CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz must pay $916,000 yearly in alimony and child support to his ex-wife and give up their Connecticut home under terms of a newly issued divorce decree. The ruling dissolves the 26-year marriage of Nantz and Ann-Lorraine “Lorrie’’ Carlsen Nantz. It comes after both testified about the breakdown of their marriage; Judge Howard Owens concluded neither was at fault. Although Nantz, 50, acknowledged he started dating a 29-year-old woman before the divorce was final, the judge concluded the marriage deteriorated years earlier and “this remote event in no way contributed to the breakdown of the marriage.’’ Under the ruling, Nantz must pay $72,000 in alimony monthly until he dies or his ex-wife remarries, and another $1,000 weekly in child support for the next two years. (Boston Globe)

So, let me get this straight...as long as "Lorrie" doesn't remarry or Nantz croaks, this chick is get $72,000 per month...for nothing, nada, sit-on-her-ass-zilch? She get paid more per month then I do per year...working two jobs! Don't give me the 26-years has got to be worth something argument either. I'm sure despite any marriage woes, she was living a pretty comfy lifestyle. You know damn straight she's not getting remarried either. That's like being a CEO for a Fortune 500 company only to quit to work at Friendly's because they have a better benefit package.

Man, if this isn't a lesson to all the rich celebrities out there. Either stay a swinging bachelor or make sure that pre-nup is concrete. Also Judge Owens has to stop bullshitting when he concluded neither were at fault. You make a dude shell out almost a mil per year to his ex...4-LIFE...that pretty much screams, "You Effed Up, Bro!"