Now this is certainly bold. You can't say Halloween doesn't bring out the creativity in people...sick, but still creative. Well, this certainly goes to prove my point to The Mrs. that Halloween (to adults) is more than girls in slutty costumes. I mean, never would I have thought to reach out to the amputee community for a volunteer, to strap to my back as C-3PO, while I wore a Wookie costume. SURE, I thought of putting a helmet and shades on Junior, strapping him to my back and braking out the Gun Show as Master Blaster from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, but exploiting amputees might be going a tad too far.
I've never claimed to be the perfect parent. Sure, I own and wear a t-shirt that states I'm the World's Best Dad, but that was back in 2006. Being a parent is the hardest, maddening and most rewarding job I've ever held. In 4 1/2 years, I hit the highs and lows when I comes to parenting. I've actually felt like the best dad ever and I've felt like a complete failure. I've openly threatened to ship my kids off to China and there are times when I couldn't be more proud of their accomplishments...no matter how small.
I've learned that there will be no greater teacher in my children's live than The Mrs. and I. That being said, I take it personally when The G, for example, shoves a pencil eraser way up her nose. It's my responsibility to train the kids how not to get themselves killed...seriously! Personally, I can't remember how invincible I probably thought I was at 4, but the fact of the matter is toddler muscle isn't immune to oncoming traffic.
All that said, I feel bad for a lot of children I read about in newspapers and unfortunately sometimes witness first-hand. I used to think to be a good parent, you should allow plenty of space to create individuality. Now, I think the biggest mistake we can make is by ignoring the unknown. First off, kids are sponges and they're sucking it all in. Second, the world is full of creeps. Lastly, shit happens. I'm not saying that I'm going to be up my kid's asses 24/7, but you can be damn sure The Mrs. and I will (to the best of our ability) be lurking, listening, inquiring, assisting and watching the safety and well-being our greatest gifts. We're going to make mistakes, but the point is minimizing the mistakes, learning from them and teaching how not repeat history. The G and Junior are our legacy and I certainly don't want them to someday muff up the same way we did.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents don't get that. Then you get videos like above. Where the hell do kids learn those moves? They were busting out stuff I'd be too scared to suggest to The Mrs. we replicate for there's a good chance I'd get a knuckle sandwich! Do you think ANY of these kids have ANY shot to grow up normally. Instead of worrying so much about swine flu or global warming, why not campaign to teach parents not to be so retarded? Maybe by not teaching our 7 year-olds that smacking that ass in an all out simulated gang-bang, some of our children can go onto discovering cures for cancer or reducing carbon emissions. I don't know...it's easy to watch this and say, "I'm not doing that bad of a job", but I also wonder which one of these delinquents are going to be the one to grow up and hurt one my kids, because they weren't taught right.
If you were a red-blooded American boy growing up in the 80's, you were probably a fan of the WWF. As far as wrestling personalities go, Captain Lou was up there with the zaniest. The guy wore elastics all over his face and went on incredible rants that usually made Mean Gene scratch his bald melon. Aside from the WWF, Captain Lou could be found in movies, music videos and other mainstream media outlets, but who could forget Captain Lou's riviting portrayal as...
I guarantee you know who this is, but you just don't think you do. It's okay, I didn't know who he was a first either and neither will you. What I can tell you is that he's the director of some new movie out called "Couples Retreat", but that's not how you know him. You know him SO well that I'm willing to bet that you see him every year...sometimes a couple times per year. Ready to find out who he is? Scroll down and have a look-see...
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Holy crap, it's Ralphie from "A Christmas Story". Well what do you know? Apparently, he's Vince Vaughn'sbest friend since they were kids. I would have thought this dude would have milked all the Christmas Story royalties til he croaked. Ted Turner must be paying this kid millions since every Christmas this movie is all over his stations...some working 24/7! I guess he just got bored. Since we're talking about "A Christmas Story" and without being TOO politically incorrect, I've also included probably my favorite scene from this holiday classic...Enjoy!
Thankfully this week went by really fast and we're on the cusp of the weekend! Wait, I have to work tomorrow in the Fish Bowl and then after I have to work all night at Tennessee's...DAMN IT!!!
Tonight we have the baptism rehearsal for Junior. I don't really understand why we need to rehearse. Dunk the melon, couple "Our Fathers", and then crack some brews at the after-party. That reminds me, I have to figure out what I'm feeding people. I don't even know how many mouths I'm feeding. I could have swore there were RSVP-thingys on the invites. Maybe I'll just order pizza. No sense slaving over a culinary masterpiece if the only people there are my parents and the Superfriends; I mean they're not picky. Then again, I haven't put on a spread in a while...hmmmmm...
This is how effing bored I am! I'm mulling recipe options, work motivation is at -78, minding is wandering erratically...I'm in full blown ADHD mode! Well screw it because it's still Friday, and it's not ANY Friday...
VAN DAMME FRIDAY!!! You can't believe your eyes, but it's really VAN DAMME FRIDAY! Don't be afraid to cut a little rug, because it's VAN DAMME FRIDAY! Not excited about VAN DAMME FRIDAY? Well, the muscles from Brussels has a little something for YOU!
This is dedicated to how I see the world around me. Keep an open mind and appreciate the chaos around us all. I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
