Unfortunate Movie Remake

Pat Morita is rolling over in his grave, but without further ado...

I wonder what Billy Zabka thinks about this, hmmm...

AHHHHHH SHIT!!!

Christmas Mishap - Who's At Fault?

One of my favorite parts of Christmas is actually going to pick out the tree. I've been going to the same place on Route 18 for the past 8 years and every year I seem to pick a spectacular tree. Now I have no idea what type of tree it is - Balsam Fir, Scottish Pine, etc...it doesn't matter. Just like a Jedi, I reach out with my feelings and BAM the tree presents itself. I also enjoy the haggling aspect of the whole experience. I know you put those color-coded ribbons on the trees, but I don't see numbers written on them. You say the "blues" are $40, I think they look more like $30...we settle on $35 and the kid gets a $5 tip (provided he gives it a fresh cut and straps it to the roof). Win-Win.

Everything that happens once that tree is strapped to the roof of the car is a complete pain in the tookus. You have to cut the twine off, get sap all over your hands, get the damn thing through the door, putting the tree in the stand and standing back every 2 seconds to make sure it's straight...it's all a nightmare. Saying that, I can complete understand the aggravation from this guy when he comes home and finds himself on candid camera. Instead of hoping for a "Funniest Home Videos" moment, why don't you clear the area a little, go get the tree-stand out of the basement, MAYBE move your precious vase so it doesn't get demolished???

What I don't get though it that the dude totally goes from all, "Get out da way bitch" to "I'm sorry...I didn't know...please don't beat me!" If that's how you're going to react in this situation, you might as well take off that Superbowl Champion Patriots jacket and put on a pink Red Sox hat. Man up and say what's really on your mind, "That vase was a piece of shit and I did the living-room a favor!" You can also totally tell by this woman's reaction that this is not the first time she's called her husband an "idiot", nor do I think it will be the last. Honestly, what's worse than your wife calling you an "idiot", and actually meaning it? So who's at fault? I'd say they both are - the wife for being a bipolar, fire hazard and the husband for forgetting his nuts at the alter when he married this broad.

All I Want For Christmas...

This morning I woke up and felt good. Really good! I know it's Monday, back to work, 5 days until the weekend...but it's also another day closer to Christmas. In years past, the kid in me has always had his heart set upon something. Some gadget, game or other novelty, and like all novelties they usually wore off. The PSP system was great! I could play on the train, at home, on the crapper, but eventually (like a month or two later) it was just boring. This year, without fail, brought the usual questions of what does Yours Truly WANT for Christmas? As far as I'm concerned, all that I want...I already have. In fact, Santa has already visited my house and here's the proof:
Could I sit here and provide a laundry list of do-dads that may or may not come in handy? Sure, but do I really NEED them? I can tell you that all that I NEED is with me all day, every day. In 11 days all that is going to matter is the excitement on my kids faces. I'm even looking forward to seeing The Mrs when she discovers that "Santa" hasn't forgotten her. WE decided not to buy each other gifts, but "Santa" never signed off on any cease-and-desist. Without opening one gift, I'll already have one of the greatest presents of all.

The other "gift" I've received early (don't be jealous...it's just I've been a better boy this year) is something I've looked forward to do for a long time. Ultimately my fascination comes from Best-Man speeches. I've been witness to a good handful, and I always felt that I could come up with a real kickass one. I suppose I've always just appreciated those choosen to be ushers, bridesmaids; members of the "wedding party". What greater honor to bestow upon a chum, right? There was a time when I had to choose 5 friends...FIVE...to help represent me at my wedding. In retrospect, I know that I chose wisely although it's easy to see how someone's circle of friends can change over 7 years...thankfully mine has only changed in addition rather than subtraction. I've been asked to be part of not one, but TWO weddings in 2010! Both grooms-to-be are currently card-carrying members of the Superfriends and their "better halves" are as well.

So lets see...I've got an awesome family, I've got awesome friends, I've got my health (finally), my jobs (notice the plural), and a partidge in a pear tree (we call him Birdie the bird). Currently, all things are coming up Millhouse and when you think about it, what more could you actually ask for? Merry Christmas and if you're feeling a little Bah Humbug, just remember these wise words from good-ole Clark Griswold: