TAMPA - It wasn't particularly hard for the victims of a Riverview home invasion to identify the burglar. He was the only one with an outline of the state of Florida tattooed on his face, authorities say.
In addition to the Florida tattoo, Sean Roberts also has the words "Crazy Cracker" written or tattooed on his head, Hillsborough County sheriff's spokesman J.D. Callaway said.
There was a time when the Mrs. desperately wanted to move to Florida. We had just returned from a week-long vacation at my parent's home in Fort Pierce, and I think the climate change caused her to snap. In some respects I don't blame her. Snow sucks, shoveling snow blows, and raking leaves...well, I don't rake leaves; they don't keep me from getting places.
The thing the Mrs. failed to realize is that living in Florida is WAY different than visiting Florida, unless you are my grandparents who golf everyday. Florida is the state you go to when you just say fuck it all. Floridians are either retired transplants or potential criminals. Take "Crazy Cracker" for instance. He wouldn't be able to hack Massachusetts living. If he tried to rob anyone 12 years or older from the Greater Boston Area, his ass would get a beatdown. He probably wouldn't even make it out of Logan without getting his ass whupped for tattooing Florida on his face. In fact, I bet this would be the kid to do it...
Now I'm no criminal mastermind, but maybe "Crazy Cracker" would be a better burgler if he spent a winter up here shoveling my driveway. At the very least he'd learn what a ski mask was.
There was a time when the Mrs. desperately wanted to move to Florida. We had just returned from a week-long vacation at my parent's home in Fort Pierce, and I think the climate change caused her to snap. In some respects I don't blame her. Snow sucks, shoveling snow blows, and raking leaves...well, I don't rake leaves; they don't keep me from getting places.
The thing the Mrs. failed to realize is that living in Florida is WAY different than visiting Florida, unless you are my grandparents who golf everyday. Florida is the state you go to when you just say fuck it all. Floridians are either retired transplants or potential criminals. Take "Crazy Cracker" for instance. He wouldn't be able to hack Massachusetts living. If he tried to rob anyone 12 years or older from the Greater Boston Area, his ass would get a beatdown. He probably wouldn't even make it out of Logan without getting his ass whupped for tattooing Florida on his face. In fact, I bet this would be the kid to do it...
Now I'm no criminal mastermind, but maybe "Crazy Cracker" would be a better burgler if he spent a winter up here shoveling my driveway. At the very least he'd learn what a ski mask was.
1 comment:
I didnt know Leo DiCarprio was from FLA
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